Source : Google photo
Synopsis : We all have good as well as bad memories of people we met but our brain thankfully deletes the memories of bad people and their names because they never became our friends. This ability of our brain protects us from hurt feelings so it is a blessing.
When I was a college student, we had to memorize a lot of
things in practically all subjects. How much we retained in our brain depended
upon how much we could memorize and how well we memorized. The test came in the
examination hall when we were given the question sheet and a blank answer book
so we read with some trepidation what the questions were because there were
always some surprises.
Now we had to seriously read the questions and decide which
one to answer first so that we could utilize the most efficient way the time to
answer the questions in three hours’ time we were provided. If we knew the
answer to the question then it went quite smoothly and became easier for us to
write the answers.
The trouble started when we came to the questions that were
tough to answer so we usually attended to them the last but with less worry
because by this time we were sure to pass the exam since we had answered 4 out
of 6 questions well to our satisfaction. But the last two questions became a
source of concern because our brain did not come up with the answers quickly
the way the first four were tackled.
So I came up with the strategy for tough questions and devised
a method to memorize the answers that I could instantly recall at the time of
the exam.
In our entomology class we were taught how many types of
antennae the insects have and what the names were. All the types started with
an alphabet so I made a word out of it that meant nothing but was easy to
remember like AKRABOTERE.
It so happened that this question was asked in our final
exam so I wrote down the word I had memorized and answered in detail all the
types after making a sketch with colored pencil of the antenna, the name and
what insects have this type of antenna. The result was that I scored high on
this exam so it was mentioned in the certificate of graduation as a special
mention.
I tried this method in other subjects as well because it
served me well during my studentship in college.
It is the memory that is needed to study any subject and do
it well because if we cannot remember then we cannot learn that subject well
enough to pass. It is the nightmare of every student if his brain goes blank
during the exam time so he desperately seeks the answers that he needs to pass.
In our real life we are no longer required to remember our
subjects because we have passed all exams and now have a job somewhere but to
get there we often face a job interview when some awkward questions may be
thrown at us to which we may not be able to answer satisfactorily. The real
life is different from the college life that required us to study hard and
remember our subjects.
Our brain works in mysterious ways that we humans often
fail to understand. The efficacy of brain power varies from person to person
that determines the IQ of that person. Some people remember everything
effortlessly because they have photographic memory but they are rare people.
Such people succeed in overcoming whatever challenge they face in life and
become great scientists, engineers or mathematicians.
But for the rest of the humanity, we are stuck with the
average brain capacity that often depends upon the environment where we grew
up. Illiterate and vulgar parents do not teach their kids anything except what
they know which amounts to nothing while the educated parents can teach their
kids a great deal of what the kid needs to be successful in life.
The college teachers can only hone the brain a child has to
learn various subjects but it does not work equally for all students. That is
why in every class, there are those students who stand out while others sit in
the back benches. A good teacher helps those who lag behind so that they too
can graduate someday.
While I understood the power of the brain in retention of
anything we learn as we grow up passing through many stages in our life, I also
started to realize that forgetting something can also be a blessing which now
brings us to the subject of this blog.
Our brain has the ability to retain the memories in some
shape and form. It can be vivid or just a blur depending on the importance of
what we try to retain. I think it is a part of our nature that we try hard to
remember pleasant and important things but do not try at all to remember
unpleasant people. I remember for example my high school roll number 97463 even
after 60 years because it was my first board exam success at a tender age that
opened up the whole world of education and excitement for me. I remembered
because it was important to me.
Those who do not know what a Board exam is should know that
a Board exam is organized by the state that thousands of students take on a
given date and a subject no matter where they live in the state or province.
The examiner remains anonymous and the student is just given a roll number so
that the examiner knows nothing about the student. Once all the exams are done,
the Board office then tallies the result for each student and publishes in the
local news paper later.
But I have a difficult time to remember names of some
people who were not my friends and were unpleasant to boot. I vaguely remember
their faces but nothing more so they have all faded from my memory which I
consider a blessing. A memory that brings back bad feelings about a person
because they behaved the way they did is better off when dumped into the
wastebasket of life. It is simply not worth remembering such people so our
brain deletes the memory.
This ability of our brain to delete certain bad memories
gives space in our brain for things to remember that has a positive impact on
us. The impact of positive thinking cannot be over emphasized because it helps
us become a better person.
We meet all kinds of people in our life in our school,
college and later in our office, in our community where we live, in our society
in general and even on the streets and other public places. We meet
discourteous, ill mannered, arrogant and selfish people everywhere. We meet
them in government offices, in our work places, in the markets, in the rural
and urban areas etc.
Such people always leave a bad impression that you try to
erase so our brain comes to our aid and deletes such people in order to
increase our mental wellbeing and keep us sane. If your brain is filled with
bad memories of bad people, it may cause severe depression that can physically
make you unable to cope with it. Severely abused people often take their own
life to escape such mental torture.
Others become extremely paranoid, mistrustful of others and
vengeful because they fail to get solace or justice for what was done to them.
They become mean, arrogant and selfish toward others whom they try to use for
their own selfish reasons.
It is quite
amazing what a child remembers since the time he becomes aware of people around
him. He at first does not know how to speak but tries to imitate what he hears
and tries to remember. People do not believe when I say that I remember my
first birthday and the period before that when lying on my back I used to pull
up my toes to suck. It is not unusual. There are many such people who will tell
you about their earliest memories.
Babies in the
womb of their mothers are known to listen to music if the mother plays piano or
sings to the baby. Later after his birth he may avidly listen to music and
develop an interest in it to the extent that he may become a singer or a
pianist himself later in his life. His likes and dislikes have to do with what
he retains in his memory.
If a child had
a bad experience with a spider or an animal, he may develop a fear of it
because his memory tells him to avoid it. If he got an electric shock or burned
his finger, he will remember it and avoid it in the future.
This ability
of the human brain to remember bad things serves a purpose. It protects the kid
in the future by reminding him not to mess with spiders or bad animals. His bad
experience with some people makes him avoid them in the future so he learns to
keep his distance from them but also deletes the memory of them later.
We are
naturally attracted to people who are gentle, kind, trustworthy, helpful and
friendly with empathy for others, generous, highly educated, with high moral
values and with integrity. It is hard to find all these qualities in just one
person but we are attracted to them if we find them. We try to emulate them
because they become our moral compass and give us direction in life. He may be
your parent or a teacher or a friend.
The brain
retains good memories of them and deletes bad memories of people who were not
our friends. I have lived and worked in many countries but I cannot recall the
names of my coworkers in the projects because they did not become my friends. I
did not keep in touch with them and soon forgot their names and faces but I
still remember a taxi driver in Sheung Shui in Hong Kong who was so nice
to me so long ago.
I do not
remember who my classmates in college in California were but I remember the
college president who became my mentor and helped me. I do not remember the
names of my housemates who did not become my friends even after one year
together living in the same house but I remember a gentle German who gave me a
ride in Sicily so long ago and stayed with me in the campsite in Catania with a
bottle of wine and talked to me for hours. I kept in touch with him for a long
time.
So forgetting
some people is a blessing and remembering good people is also a blessing. If
you only care to write it all down in your memoir or in your blogs, people will
be amazed to read your stories. I know that you are reading my blogs in more
than 140 countries because you like to read my stories and about my experiences
in many countries under difficult circumstances.
This way I give
tribute to those good people in so many countries who helped me when I needed
them and who extended their hands to me in their genuine friendship that I
grasped eagerly. I cherish such good memories of them even today after so many
years.
If you read my
biography in the links given below, you will learn a lot about how I spent my
years in so many countries and what challenges I had to overcome in order to
reach my present age.
My brain has
discarded the memories of bad people like old clothes that have no value but
has retained the memories of the good people so that is a blessing. You too
should cherish the friendship and good memories of all the good people in your
life who have been your mentors, your teachers or your friends who stood by you
when you needed them most.
Write about
their good deeds if you are an aspiring writer. Tell others about them and set
up scholarships in their name if you have money and want to preserve their
memory forever. They deserve nothing less.
Let all the
bad memories disappear from your mind like dark but fleeting clouds to let in
the sunshine in your life.
Note : My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese languages at the following links as well as my biography. My blogs can be shared by anyone anytime in any social media.
https://achtrjee.wixsite.com/mysite/blog
La biografía de anil en español.
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