Friday, March 14, 2025

Downsizing is great

 


Source: Google photo of downsizing your life and living a better life.

 

Synopsis: We look for a happy ending in our life but unfortunately many of us will die someday unhappily alone and without loved ones nearby. But it does not have to be this way because there are alternatives to unhappy life during your retirement. This post looks at the happy alternatives.


At some point we start thinking of living a simple life in our later stage of life where money, big house, cars and pampered life loses its Lustre, so we start thinking about how to simplify our lifestyle. We come to realize a simple truth. It is that no one really cares about you and how you spend the last part of your life because they never cared about the glamorous part of your life or to know about your achievements. They only care about what they can get from you. When they do not get anything from you anymore, they discard you, so you start to fade away into oblivion and one day close your eyes forever. This is the life of most people. 


But today I started to think that no matter how old and simple you look, you may have achieved great things in life and were appreciated by people who admired your talents like a great author, great musician, great actor or artist  but the ordinary people have short memories of someone who has become old and is waiting for his death. At that time no one remains your friend or shows any care or concern for the man you once were so great scientists like Nicola Tesla died in a dirty hotel room in his old age with no one to share his pathetic life or visit him to know how he was doing. He nearly starved to death and had no friends who could sit with him, give him sympathy for his dire conditions and left with him food and medicine that he desperately needed. There are many such examples where once a great movie actress was found scrounging for food in the garbage bins and sleeping in a graveyard covered in a sheet of plastic.


People who have earned and saved a lot of money and lived in style have been known to waste their life in the end because they did not plan for their retirement from whatever their profession was. The sad part is that no one cares to know how you live your retired life including your relatives who have stopped receiving money or other benefits from you, so they have no more interest in you. But when you die someday, they start to fight over your money and property so they descend like vultures and compete to grab whatever they can grab.


This is the sad nature of human beings, especially the relatives and others who had benefited from your generosity toward them but now forget what a great person you once were. Rarely such relatives show love and respect to you when you were alive and now dead. Their sole interest in you depends on what they get from you while alive and after your death.


However, there are always exceptions to every rule, so I know one or two cases where the siblings respected and honored their elder brother who sacrificed his life for their welfare, so they built a house where they kept one room for their dead brother in impeccable conditions and with flowers and incense as if he was still alive. Such loyalty, love and respect for a person who is dead is rare so worth a mention.


Lord Buddha was a prince who grew up in the lap of luxury and who had a beautiful wife, a palace and servants to attend to his every need but he chose to leave everything behind him to seek Nirvana and wandered all over India in search for the meaning of his life. He wore a simple orange gown and went to sleep often without food under a tree because he had given up all his comfort and pleasure as a royal prince. He took a vow of poverty and the life of a monk who ate only when some people gave him some food. When nearing his few remaining years, he meditated and reached the conclusion that nothing in life is permanent so one must seek the liberty from material things of life that ties a person down to keep him from the bliss of liberty or moksha as the Hindus say.


We of course are the ordinary people who cannot understand such high philosophy of Lord Buddha, so we live a humdrum life until the end and try to hold on to the material things until our last breath, but everything slips out of our hands when we are old and feeble like Gene Hackman who died pitifully in spite of having a lot of wealth.


The common people like you and me are afraid of the unknown and reluctant to give up our comfort zones so we seek the company of people like us, food that we commonly eat and like to live in a familiar environment where everyone speaks the same language so cannot imagine us living a life of sacrifice and uncertainty looking for Nirvana. 


Most of us do not understand what it means and how it can make us free from the temptations of life that we get so used to. People who seldom walk cannot imagine how hard it is to wander on foot with a begging bowl in hand like the monks. That calls for extreme sacrifice that most of us cannot accept.


I think this much introduction in this blog is enough so I will now try to focus on the title of this article called Downsizing is great. I will explain why the downsizing of your lifestyle and everything that is related to it is great when you become old, meaning over seventy years of age.


Now the life expectancy depends on your health, which depends on good nourishing food, a good environment where you live and a good and loyal person who can be your wife or husband who cares for you and sees to it that you are in good health and comfortable until you die. 


People say that dogs are more loyal and trustworthy than humans because a dog will never abandon you and will serve and protect you with his life. He will mourn you for days and weeks over your body but not your relatives. Just remember Hachiko in Japan who gave his life waiting for his master. The relatives will wear fancy black clothes and go to the cemetery in shiny cars but look at other relatives with venom in their heart because now the fight for the property and money starts.


So I started to think that anyone can plan for his remaining days so that he or she remains independent of others and lives his or her life on his or her's own terms

 and ends it on his or her own terms, as well. It may sound like a difficult proposition, but it is quite doable, but we are human beings who come in various shapes, sizes, colors and abilities.


By ability I mean a firm resolve to live your life the way you want until you croak. Not every Tom Dick and Harry can do it because it depends on how you grew up and under what circumstances. Not everyone is prepared to live his life on his own terms because it requires a strong personality with resolve and taking matters into his own hand.


I had a maternal uncle who one day abandoned his wife and disappeared never to return home. Some say that he became a wandering monk and others say other things. He may have sought freedom but abandoning his wife who depended on him was an act of cowardice and selfishness in the extreme. Marriage means responsibility.


But if you want to live simply somewhere, then downsizing comes as a good alternative. You no longer need your big house, big screen TV and air conditioners. You do not need so many servants to keep your house and your garden in perfect shape. You do not need so many dogs and birds to amuse you and certainly you do not need so many luxury cars and motorbikes. After all these are just material things one can get rid of, but some people say that it is nearly impossible. They care more for their cats and dogs than people.


One thing that separates common people from the monks who are spiritual people is the degree of spirituality they have. Just attending Church service or going to mosques to pray five times every day does not make you a Christian or Moslem unless you grow in your spirituality. I do not mean the Bible thumpers who annoy everyone with their fanaticism, but it is possible to grow in your spirituality without the Bible thumping.


Now let us suppose that you have finally realized the need to downsize your house and your lifestyle. Where can you go and live simply and peacefully? There are many countries that offer peaceful living. There you can buy or rent a small house in a beautiful surrounding at a low cost. You can get a wonderful cook who will delight you with the local cuisine every day for a small salary. They will cook and clean your house and run all the errands for you and your wife.


Their culture and lifestyle will amaze you. They will come to ask you how you are and bring a doctor if need be. There are excellent health care facilities and very good doctors who will attend to you whenever you need. If you have a lot of money, there are local banks that will keep it for you and give you easy access any time. Such countries do exist where your life will be secure and peaceful. 


You will be able to participate in their amazing and colorful festivals and get used to wearing their local and comfortable clothes. They will even walk your dog if you care to keep one and you will enjoy their hospitality. It will be a far cry from your country where neighbors will ignore you and report to police only when they smell the odor of death. You will not want to live there where old people die alone and their pets die of hunger and neglect.


Japan and many European countries that claim to be developed countries are also known for their indifference to the old people who live alone in tiny apartments. Their neighbors living next door ignore them and do not knock on their door to ask how you are. There old people living alone die of loneliness and lack of care. They may have been notable artists, writers, engineers or great scientists but they were ignored by their society when they were alone and lived a very lonely life.  I shudder to think of the old people in such countries.


But the Asian culture in most countries is not like Japan. They may be poor, but they have not lost their humanity so to live among them is a good choice where you can live the remainder of your life in peace, tranquility and without worries. What could be a better choice than this? Downsizing does not mean that you compromise on your quality of lifestyle. It means that you can enjoy a quality life at a much lower cost of living than your country where no one seems to care for you.


Note: My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese languages at the following links as well as my biography. My blogs can be shared by anyone anytime in any social media.

Mis blogs en espagnol
Mes blogs en français.
Blogs von Anil in Deutsch
Blogs in Japanese
My blogs at Wix site
tumblr posts    
Blogger.com
Medium.com
Anil’s biography in English.





Tuesday, March 11, 2025

Hen's tooth

 


Source: Google photo of emotional parting of friends


Synopsis: We all experience the emotional parting of friends and relatives during our lifetime. True and close friends make parting more difficult because of the uncertainty that we may never see them again as life itself is uncertain. We never know if we will see them again so cherish their friendship that is so rare.


I often think of the reasons why I get emotionally affected when a dear friend or a relative comes to see me and we enjoy his or her company but feel sad when the time comes for them to leave. I am not sure how my visitors feel but certainly I feel a sense of loss because there is always an air of uncertainty because it may be their last visit so I may never see them again. It happened to me when my sister came here for the last time. I gave her a big hug at the airport but did not know that she will never again come to visit us here in the Philippines because she died of cancer in India.


I was emotional when she left because she was my companion when I was just a baby and later, we used to go to school every day and return home together as well. So, we shared a lot of time together while growing up. I did errands for her and brought her to the train station numerous times when she had to go back to her town where she was a teacher. I pressed her clothes, bought things for her and went to a picnic that she enjoyed. I invited her to travel with me in India to visit beautiful places and I brought her to the Philippines three times, which she enjoyed very much. My wife, being a very generous woman, bought her many gifts and took many photos that she printed and put in an album to bring with her to India.


I felt sad when one day I received an email from India that she had died of cancer, so I sent money for her last rites, but I did not feel any emotion when my three other sisters died. Why did I not feel any emotion when they died? The answer lies in one word "Sharing".


I did not share anything with them because of the huge age gap between us so they did not play with me or share anything. I ran errands for them as well, but they remained aloof and left the town when they got married and were busy raising their children who later did not have any connection with me. They did not show any excitement when I left India or went to see me off at the train station but this sister I grew up with, always went to the train station or the airport to see me off and shed a few tears while giving me a big hug.


She was only a few years older than me so there was no big age gap. Maybe that could be another reason why we were closer to each other and shared many things. I tormented her for being a crying kid, but she never complained and always carried me, fed me and took care of me but others were not like her, so I felt her absence when she died.


I find that these two factors, i.e. the sharing and small age gap played a role in bringing us together. We shared our childhood and later our teen years together. She had a great impact on my education when one day she told me that I should get admission to an agriculture college because the students there spoke good English and were smart, so I became an agronomist and received my B.Sc. Ag degree one day that she was very proud of. She did not know that one day this education will open many doors for me and provide many opportunities that would make me an international traveler working in many countries. My other sisters were aloof and had nothing to do with me, so I did not feel anything when they died.


Then I started to think why some people I met long ago became my lifelong friends while others never offered any friendship, so they all faded away. Some were my classmates in college, others were my coworkers and still others I met in many countries, but none became my friend, so I have forgotten their names but not their indifference and often nasty toxic behavior. Some were jealous so they talked against me to prove that they were better than me.


I too ignored them and never kept any contact with them because they were not worth my time to keep my friendship with them that was never there to start with.


A friendship develops between two persons when they share the same ethics of hard work, honest living and offer help to anyone who needs their help. They never say anything but the truth and they never make any promise they cannot keep. They are always ready to help each other whenever needed so a bond develops that gets stronger as we age.


They go through life facing many challenges but eventually overcome them because they work hard with honesty and diligence, so they share this trait with their friend who has overcome somewhat similar challenges and succeeds at some point. It is often said that people who suffer challenges together become lifelong friends. It is common in the armed services where they get wounded or worse in some distant war but return home as lifelong friends. The sharing of danger and hardship is what makes people come together this way, but it is not limited to the armed services.


Often people say that we are not like wild animals because wild animals care only for their own survival, but I disagree. Wild animals of different species raised together become lifelong friends and shed tears when they are separated. If you raise such animals, they will never forget you even after many years living in the wilderness.


But we seek others like us and rarely make friends with people who are not like us. Humans go one step further. Some will seek friendship only if the other person is of the same race, same religion and even has the same political views so they make many conditions in their friendship.


Those who do not make conditions for their friendship are those rare people who share similar values and work ethics with another person, irrespective of their race, skin color or ethnicity become good friends in a selfless manner. They do not want any favors from you but want plain and honest friendship. Such people do exist but are not very common.


Meeting with them years later somewhere brings joy but parting with them at some airport one day brings a sense of emptiness that is hard to fill. Life is short and unpredictable so we all feel that anything can happen to us anytime without warning especially when we are at the end of our life and waiting for the final curtain to descend.


Friendship is like a sapling that you plant together and nurture it to grow into a lively healthy tree someday that gives shade and fruits. Friendship is also like that and needs to be nurtured so that it can grow strong over the years and create a strong bond between people.


Most people go through life without friends meaning true friends. They become friends for a reason and for a season, but such people are not your true friends because they are your friends for a reason and for a season. Later they all fade away leaving no trace because their friendship is always tainted by their self interest in you. A true friend wants nothing from you. Such people are rare and should be cherished because they are like hen's teeth.


I am happy to tell you that I have a few friends like that who have helped me, mentored me and always stood by me because they believed in me and in my ability to get the job given to me done professionally. Some were my professors in college and others whom I met working in other countries, so I consider myself very lucky to have met them and got to know them well. Many have died so I miss them and feel emptiness whenever I think of them.


Note: I have nearly come to the end of my writing career as a blogger so you may have noticed that I have written very few blogs in the past few months. Sometimes an idea comes, and I write a blog like this one but one day surely, I will come to a stop. After publishing over 440 blogs on various subjects, I feel that I have written enough that will keep you busy reading them for a long time so I should quit.

But a change was in the offing. It came in the form of an idea that Amazon may accept my blogs now called posts in the form of an e-book in many languages and publish them.

So, my IT expert daughter is putting together all the blogs I have ever written into a format acceptable to Amazon called KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) as e- book. You may be able to download the volumes no matter where you live in the world once it becomes an Amazon publication sometime in the future.


In the e-book if it ever sees the light of the day , it will be free of all the links I usually add to my Wordpress blogs and all the power points and YouTube links to movies or other subjects so it will be plain but with the same content as my blogs present. I will tell you when it comes online. In the meantime, share my blogs with your friends and others as usual and always send me your comments on them. My e book pen name will be Anil. Someday my biography will also be published there as an e-book. Cheers and best wishes. Aumolc.


Note: My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese languages at the following links as well as my biography. My blogs can be shared by anyone anytime in any social media.

Mis blogs en espagnol
Mes blogs en français.
Blogs von Anil in Deutsch
Blogs in Japanese
My blogs at Wix site
tumblr posts    
Blogger.com
Medium.com
Anil’s biography in English.