Source: Google photo of Amira Willighagen
Synopsis: A life of struggle to overcome the difficulties someone faces can make him strong and more determined to succeed. This is a cruel process for some people who do not give up easily and continue until they achieve their goal. This process requires self-confidence more than anything else. The blog gives some examples of people who have succeeded in spite of difficulties.
A child named Amira won my heart the moment she appeared on a stage to sing but I was not the only one. She won the heart of millions of her adoring fans all over the world. It was very evident that the child had amazing voice and an incredible stage presence at her tender age when most children hide behind the skirts of their mother.
So, I started to think that a child does not become super confident by herself because behind her stand her parents who recognize her talent early on and gave her all the support she needed. A child grows and develops her personality with the help of her parents first and her teachers in her class. They support her and encourage her to develop her singing abilities by enrolling her in voice lessons and compete at first in local competition and later when she really starts to bloom, they encourage her to compete in regional and later national competitions.
This process of developing self-confidence is a long process where the parents play the most crucial role. Amira has loving parents who supported her in numerous ways so that one day she could reach her full potential. She did not fail them. I could see her confidence the way she stood in front of a huge crowd with her charm, her poise and her beaming face that impressed everyone watching her live on TV everywhere. The moment she started singing, the audience broke out in great applause and the judges stood up visibly shaken at her talent.
People wondered aloud if this child was so talented at this age, what she will become when she is a teenager. They did not have to wait long. Amira has now become famous and appears in many musical events worldwide. I wrote a blog on her earlier called " Nurturing talent" that you can read in this context where I have a video of Amira singing O Mio babbino caro with a famous singer.
Children who are supported by their parents can develop strong and charming personality, so they become self-confident knowing that their parents and teachers stand solidly behind them. The child then starts to prepare himself for any competition be it a singing, dancing or sports. The medals and accolades encourage the child, so his confidence grows but the confidence alone does not win medals and recognition. It requires training and lessons from a professional singer or sportsman.
In another blog, I wrote the story of two girls in Punjab who were brutally trained by their father who taught them how to be a wrestler. He woke them up at 4 am every morning to start running and wrestling to develop their muscles but the girls at first cried and hated the bland food they had to eat but one day they wrestled their father to the ground. They won many matches with boys and went on to become national champions later. Watch the movie Dangal in U tube. It was based on a real story.
Most children are shy at first to speak in public because they do not have the language fluency and the ability to organize the topic in their mind, so they do not like to compete in extemporaneous speaking contests. They get easily embarrassed in front of a large audience that can sense the difficulties the child is trying to cope with, so they start hooting to the point when the child runs away and hides behind his parents. It can be a traumatic experience for a child who has not developed any self confidence that can have a longer effect on his personality later. Such kids become indecisive, meek and shy so they do not like to compete in anything. They become classic procrastinators that does not bring them any rewards in life.
But once you have overcome your fears of facing an audience, you will be unstoppable in your life because you have gained your confidence that will stay with you in anything you want to do. People will notice it at your interview for the entrance to a good college or a job interview later. In your job, your seniors will notice you and promote you because they know that you are self-confident, reliable and ahead of others in intelligence and diligence. But the self-confidence alone does not cut it. You have to be properly trained and be knowledgeable before you compete in anything.
So how do you gain self-confidence? It starts at home where you develop the language fluency. If the parents speak good English, the child also learns to speak good English and hones his ability by watching English programs on TV or listening to English songs that he tries to understand the meaning of. An inquisitive child asks his parents the meaning of certain words so his vocabulary increases rapidly to the point when he or she can speak fluently and with good grammar. It also requires the parents to be literate. The parents who are not educated can hardly be a model to the child so he learns only what he can from his parents.
If the parents are illiterate or have little education, they can hardly teach their child how to develop a strong personality with self-confidence and good language skills so a good learning environment at home is a necessity that a child can benefit from and grow accordingly.
However, it does not mean that a child cannot become a successful person later in life even if he comes from a poor family that cannot provide him the help and support, he needs to develop his learning skills. There are numerous examples of such kids who grew up in very poor families but later became very successful. Pandit Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar was such a person who studied under streetlight because his parents could not afford a kerosene lamp. Dr. Abdul Kalam also came from a very poor family, so he too studied under streetlamp but later became a famous rocket scientist and the President of India. Mr. Modi is another example who now leads India as the prime minister.
What is required that a child needs is the moral support from his parents but only the moral support is never enough. He needs books and some additional help in subjects he is weak. Tutors or elder siblings can help to some extent. Now some parents provide computer that the child learns from and develops his typing skills early on. A computer does open up the world of knowledge for the kid that can make a kid very educated in any subject or topic.
If the parents cannot provide such tools at home, then there are public libraries where they also provide computers. A classmate who has a computer at home can share it with the kid. Now you do not have to buy a book because you can find it in a PC.
I always bought books from the senior students in my high school who sold it to me for pennies. I also bought books from the bookstores that sold old books at 1/3rd the price. This way I saved money.
In college, I overcame my hesitancy in public speaking because our teachers encouraged me to be vocal in the classroom, so I always answered the questions raised or solved a problem on the blackboard that the teachers appreciated. Other students kept mum and sat in the back bench. So, the teachers play a role in the development of your personality. They enter your name in various competitions and train you to be a public speaker. That way you lose your shyness and may someday become a Narendra Modi or Dr. Abdul Kalam.
Kids who come from rich families tend to be over spoiled with expensive toys at first and later with I- phones and other gadgets before even asking for it so they become spoiled brats and insensitive to others in schools. They learn to brag about money and their privileged life but become back benchers in classrooms and seek the company of other spoiled brats. Girls compare their expensive clothes with the poor but brilliant girl in the front row and show jealousy but are not smart enough to excel in life later on. The poor girl becomes a doctor or a scientist and becomes a successful person.
Some children who grow up in poverty develop a stiff backbone and a desire to overcome their poverty through hard studies with diligence. One boy who came from a very poor rural family in India wanted to become an IPS officer when he grew up so one day, he took a bus to go to Delhi where he could join a coaching class. In the bus he sat next to a woman and fell asleep only to wake up later to find his suitcase stolen by the woman so penniless, he asked for some food in a restaurant and pay for it by washing dishes. A gentle soul gave him the money and the bus fare to go to Delhi where he was helped by another kind soul who supported him in his coaching class.
To make his story short, he went through extreme hardship and earned a little money by working in a wheat grinding mill whole day and studied whole night. He hardly ever slept but kept on trying to pass the qualifying exams and failed twice. On his third and the last try, he passed the exam that was super tough so he was called for the final exam that was a viva in front of a committee that decides who will pass or fail. His clever and bold answers to their questions won their heart so they declared him successful and sent him to the Police Academy where they will train him to be a senior police officer.
As an IPS officer, he went back to his village but found that his grandmother had died who had given him all the money she had saved to fulfill his dreams that was stolen in the bus, but his mother and father shed tears of joy at his success through hard work and diligence. Very few people succeed in passing the exams to become the Indian Police Service (IPS) officer but those succeed are given the top jobs by the government.
I believe that every child needs the support of his parents, teachers and others so that he can reach his or her full potential. Amira is lucky that she has loving parents who have given their complete support because they can. But those who do not receive the support they need, also have the chance of succeeding if they are determined no matter how much the hardship they suffer in the process.
The self-confidence comes from the determination a child has who is never deterred by his failures but learns from it and still continues like the boy in the story above who became an IPS officer.
Note: My blogs are also available in French, Spanish, German and Japanese languages at the following links as well as my biography. My blogs can be shared by anyone anytime in any social media.
